Defining you

What defines you?  What do you feel is your defining characteristics? Are you able to stand alone and feel strong and confident, or do you need to stand behind a group? Never able to tell how you truly feel or act how you really want to act?  Can you define YOU?

It is probably the hardest thing to do: look deep into yourself and understand what makes you think and act the way you do.  Can you act freely, without backlash from those around you?  Do you need someones approval of how you act?  STOP! For 5 mins at least, STOP! Take inventory of yourself.  What is it that makes you tick, makes you love to live life.  Do you love to live?  Very good question that is…. If you are not loving your life, ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE THAT.

Do yourself a huge favor and go to a quiet, safe, place.  Bring only YOU. Leave the phone and every single other device.  Sit with yourself and think about what defines you.  Are you an animal lover that just needs to rescue and save every animal you can, are you a fashion bug and love love to look at clothes and how they work with people, I don’t know.. Do you love sports, quiet time with friends, quiet time alone, ANYTHING.  What is it about you that makes you uniquely YOU?

I can tell you my story.  I was a total jerk in jr. high and high school.  I was mean to people.  I was obsessed with being the jock.  BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I THOUGHT MADE PEOPLE HAPPY.  I would do very well in sports and boom, people loved that.  So, as a very lonely, angry, hurt, desperately sad girl, I did what I thought people would love me for.  I was miserable.  I am truly not a mean person deep inside, but it was expected of me and I did not like to disappoint people.  I kept this persona going through college too.  I ended up in terrible relationships with men that loved to control me and I loved that they controlled me.  I didn’t have to think, or feel.  I just had to follow their rules and I would be fine.  Wow… I wasted a whole lot of years being what someone else wanted and NOT at all what I am on the inside.   But, I had created this monster and I stuck with it.  It took me a very long time to sort through the garbage and find what truly was me.  Thank Goodness I grew up and learned to love myself for ME and it took awhile, but I learned to let my true self show in order for honest love to find me.  Even the sports have a different level for me.  I can now participate and understand that I do it for ME.  ONLY ME.  I constantly challenge myself and I truly honestly love it.

My challenge to you, is to find your true self.  It is there.  Waiting to spring on you with happiness and relief.  Relief that you can just be and be so very happy with yourself.  When you love yourself you can honestly just exist in the moment and feel joy like you have never felt before.  Start slow.  Write out your true feelings on everything.  Write out or list your true passions.  Look deep into the dark scary places and feel.  Just feel.  Some of you will be very surprised and what you do feel!  It seems like you have lived a lie for so long.  So very long.  You deserve to be you.  Just you.  Just your beautiful, confident, fully you, YOU.


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